- Friends! Happy and sad, neither joyful nor gloomy! Gather around this ancestral and sacrosanct fountain and let us seal a story with a thought and close a word with a dream, like a Nightingales’ morning sigh..and let it be thrown down the abiss and hurled up to the skies to wither and to dampen, to smother and to burst, like an Owl’s daily endeavors with baren feet on mushy land!
Let us scream and weep and moan!
Oh, the flight of the Eagle has crash-landed!
Ah, the Worm has grown a backbone but the backbone turned and walked away!
Dah, the Human has prepared his broth but the brew turned out to be a brothel bitch!
And let us exult and dance and jubilate!
Aye, the Snake developed prolegs, found itself a peculiar taste for apples and sung of Milton while inebriated on milk!
Hooray, the Bees they put on prosthetic tentacles and dedicated themselves to Agwe!
Hallelujah, for the day Luther became King and the next, when the Ape lit up Libertys’ torch and the Gorilla taught of natural history!
Rise!
Rinse of this fountain and rise, you bastards! Howl to the highest foliage!
Harr..Jarr…Grrr!..
Hhhh..
…
* Laughing among the crowd *
- Oh my, here he goes again... [Voice 1]
- ♪ Pond save our queen, Lala la ♪ [Voice 2]
- I’m actually starting to find this quite gratifying.. [Voice 4]
- …
Yes, i’m alright, mind you…Pardon my manners, and with it my free spirit – you all well know about my libertine and lavish soul, especially the females, hehe * winks in his distinctive manner * – , and with my spirit, their narcotic Xiltu leaves, as i often lend myslef to passions of innermost desire, nightmares of inmost passion, and dreams of purest virgin fairies as we..
- Sire..
- Yes, yes..I - We have gathered today, around this pond, in sacrilege of our last defilement, i’m sure you all remember that one – nasty human sacrifice, but quite a nice pin-up, if i may –, as once in a while everyone – brilliant artist and visionaries, intellectuals and sparkingly mephistophelic geniuses, haughty mephistophalic perverts such as ourselves first of all – needs another God from time to time – often it may seem – and all that other amusment which follows one, as, of course, we tend to bore and touch ennui quickly in lack of things to bitch about – writing down culture, and building up wisdom, how we put it…
…
* Stares firmly at the lakes’ surface *
- …Sir?
* Keeps starring nowhere *
- Your Blistering Hightness, Lord of Speed?
- …Yes?
- What happened?
- Fluxus, my dear. Nothing happened.
- I see..Shall we proceed?
* Then, with a sudden impetuos bawl… *
- Oh, right! Bring out the larva! Let vermin and disease rip apart that dirty piggery and hellish capitalist dumphole called New York!
- Excuse me, Sir…
- Let Beavers take down their heads gnashingly grinding their throats! Let Nubian Vultures lovingly eat up flesh from liver to spine, gently displacing meat from bone, and feast on every membrane! Let the skies tear up and let them tear down their wreched tails.
- May I, they don’t have tails..
- Yes they do have tails even if you can’t see them son, devilish and ablaze and as red as their narrowminded threesome..Trinity! That was it! * Voice slowing down* I have nothing against threesomes..nor treason, for that matter…
- I think the one you were referring to was called Satan…
- *And back up * Anyway! Let Hounds bathe in the murk of their demise and Pigeons peek at boiling entrails!
- Sir..
- Let the earth crack open and streams of molten fire shine through while the other half submerges towards a deep salty but inspiring death! The Wrath of the Ocean and the Fury of the Grass! Let them drown all the way down to Arizona Bay!
- Sir.
- Let Mice eat men and save women for the never-before heard-of Omnivorous Caterpillar! Let nails be told to flourish and skin be sent to dwindle! Let Worms crawl through sqashy tissues and Rhinoceros crack bones and ant swarm through infested cavities and depravity run amok and catarrhs splintering wild and and Argh! Hang-a-Lua-Hey-ya-Eeeee!
- Sir!
- What?!
- This is the wrong Rite!
- ..Is it?
- What was to follow was supposed to be an act of grandiose profanity, and the subsequent instauration of an inceptive God, recall?
- Oh, so it was..My, right you are..Well Then!
So here we stand on this joyful morning – and might i say a little too early a morning * yawns * – in celebration of our new found Hand and Manifesto…and for the dawn of this new Era what i had in mind was, partly, a little bit special, a hint twisted, more than so mundane, sarcastically ‘pataphorical inclined and a drop sweet, by humanesque terms. Now i’m sure everyone here agrees that our latest mockings weared off a tad fast – and i’ll only remind you now of The Black-Hooded Saint of Damnation spreading terror and fright through his dreaded Circus Appearances, or Conus, The Spirit of Debauchary, also known as the ‘G’ in ‘God’ – for wich i still maintain a soft spot, even if most of you disagreed back then – , or our latest and also current Giant One-Eyed Fearful Octopus, Krak’Em by pet name – or Shoggy, as i like to caress – that finds its lair amidst the mucky waters of this very lake – and as such we find need of a new one, strong and savory, tenacious and temerarious, brand new from the depths of our subconscious convictions!...
Now, by this I have accepted a bold, and interesing, proposition made up a few cycles ago through the flopping of our very own Dry’deis’ cells and tongue – of our new Era, it shall be known as the first to bring by, and be brought by, a God of all our minds, one crafted not just by my own, or my predecessors judgement, but by that of each and every one of you!
To be and to respond of every directed thought, to listen of all, concord with all, and be put down by the same clash amidst minds – a free enticer through a massive mesh and a hollow spirit of the everflowing spirits! Now this shall be trully enjoyable!
- Foolish it seems, your spoken word, spoken mine.
- Ah, and i sense distress betwixt your words, our old wise Hender the Hyolith, don’t do i so do so..do..so?
- Distress you may sense, concern is that wich troubles me, said I.
- So saw I..Care to detail, you? * Nonchalantly fluttering his hand *
- Tell a tale of leaves I may.
- Perhaps our younger Dry’dei here may be more eager towards your proposal, but until then I assure you that pots don’t crack by just mixing flavors, dear Hender, may it have a foul odor, and apart from that we are already late on our procession.
- My fear was not with cracking, Sire, less with pot.
- And at first we shall taste a tad of melancholy, i’m afraid, but swallow it proudly, as…
* Ground trembles and a gruesome grave roar is heared from beneath *
- …we must sacrifice our beloved squid right in it’s watery burrow.
* A lurid screech continues rising upwards*
- Oh, cut it off Krak’Em! You knew this was to happen eventually!
* The Giant Octopus emerges eye-level and cowardly inspects the surroundings *
- That’s a good Shoggy, come on out now, don’t be shy.
- Mmmbbgggfhhhtllll
- Well, you should have thought about that before i made you up.
- Gggggllllltsssssstthththtjjjllldd
- There’s been already tons of written literature and poetry dedicated to ‘The Great One, Ruler of the Chasm’, i myself wrote ‘The Mysterious Depths’ – though that ended being interdicted to infants. Not to mention the plays and acts performed, circus shows, devotional wizardries – remember what the Bees did? – or musical events – The Fireflies? And the Electric Eels?
- Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyls!
- Listen, i’m already behind schedule, if you would just rise up so we could get this over with..
Suddenly the Octopus jumps up on four of it’s tentacle-like arms with the rest grabing and viciously hurling Jehhan the Earthworm towards an old sequoia accompanied by another yell
- * Lord Laughing * Kraky!…
* Jehhan mumbles in disvowal while crawling back down *
- Relax Jehha’, luckily you don’t have a spine to worry about.
- Gggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. [Kraky]
- No, i doubt anyone would appreciate a volcano erupting behind their back..
- Shhhhh!
- No, leave London where it is!
- GaaaaRRRR!
- No, fire and brimstone crushing from the skies sounds like a rather uninspired act, and i doubt ‘shit and dismay’ will appeal to many either…
- Miiiiiii...
- Goddammit, stop crying! You even have only one eye, it’s pathetic!
- * Sniff *
- …Henta-Loa’tra I proclaim and command Dusk and Dawn Hhghh-Kccc-Thrussh Kla in and by which Gbl-Gulb-Kta we bring forth Gssst hast Mrrr as new…
* Croud chatting *
- We should have gone through this in communal consent.. [Voice 3]
- Sire!
- ♪ Gulpa-Gulpa-Kh-Stg-Ji ♪ [The King]
- Oh, bien-sur.. [Voice 4]
- Entered trance again, it’s imperative to rid off him this time around. [Voice 5]
- This is not exactly what i visioned…[Dry'dei]
- Kra-Gra-Hash-Ra let be Hight-Ah Faceless Tra-La-La Boom-boom Itsky-Risky Shoggy Ska-Ta be cleft Glu-Glu twain Rigga-Ugh…
* But out of a dangling feather The Giant Octopus, and current ruler of the world, roars in fearful insanity! *
- Graaaa!
At noise as such Krak’Em, terrified by it's own fearsome screech, leaps and flees running mad through the dense and damp forest, disrupting one profane ritual with another.
- Gla-AAH! Damnit!...Well…It seems…He ran away…Very well…This chapter shall be skipped then…
Next we would…Erm…What would it…Pass me that slimy tome…No…the one with a jaw…Yes, the live one…Let’s see…Erh…
* Voice from the crowd *
- Couldn’t we just consider formalities done and get this masquerade turned over?
- … * Silence *
* Butler tries to abord *
- Sire?
- …
- A trivial event, Sire?
- I was meditating…Yes we could! From now on The Faceless and Faceful shall be praised and glorified!
Rejoice and Feast! It has been done!
* Croud cheers *
And , also, from now on, let it be known that I, Your Beloved Self-Appointed Egotistical Turtle King and Lord of Branches expressly wishes to be called Flower-King Dyckweed! Happy new Era!
And at least lunged creatures exhale reliefed…
- Finally…, Dry’dei walks away reflective…
And the day went down in glee and celebration…